So I noticed a lot of porn bots like my posts. Thanks, porn bots!!! You were, like, 30% of my childhood on the internet so I’m pretty gratified to see you’ve stuck with me.
I sprinted into Best Buy tonight seven minutes before closing and I ran up to the first guy in blue I saw and said, “Where’s your canned air?!” And he said, “Canned air…?” And I said, “Canned air!!” And he said, “What’s…?” and I said impatiently, “Canned air, compressed air in a can!” and he said, “OH, compressed air! I was like, ‘Candair’…?” And I laughed and said “You’re right, it does sound like a brand,” but secretly I was like, you’re a little bit dumb.
The canned air fixed my CPU overheat problem though so it’s all good. The cat didn’t even eat my food while I was out.
yes this is truly what every single rap artist sounds li—
also how can you call out taylor swift for slut-shaming and then go ‘I’M NICKI MINAJ LOOK AT MY BIG BOOBS’/’I’M RIHANNA LOOK I’M NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES’ in the same damn post
for real, shit’s retarded bro
Yeah but it’s OKAY to slut-shame when you’re doing it to a black woman amirite!!!!11 fellas
(Hint for broken internet sarcasm detectors: it’s not okay)
A really bad photo!! Of my really bad nails!! Plus a cat hair!! So hot!!!
This is my new teapot. It has a little infuser inside. The box had Engrish on it. Also, observe the length of my nails. I am just so uncontrollably cool.
stygimoloch: I AM THE GORN
stygimoloch: HUGGIN U 2 DEF
dacentrurus: i think this is just an erotic dream kirk is having.
dacentrurus: he’s gonna wake up soon and go ‘D: SPOCK WHY AM I ALL STICKY.’
dacentrurus: and spock will be all ‘shut the fuck up, it’s 4am, go back to sleep.’
(I’m just saying)
Porn or Not Porn: Look at titles on mangaupdates.com. Try to guess before clicking a link whether a title is porn or not. Ecchi may or may not count depending on the strictness of your rules.
Pants or No Pants: From behind the couch, guess whether Hemicyclaspis (on the couch) is wearing pants. A good strategy is to observe how self-satisfied she looks (a positive correlation between pantslessness and self-satisfaction has been noted).
Nipple or Flea: Guess, using only touch, whether something stuck to the cat’s belly is a nipple or a flea. Since the great flea massacre of July, nipples predominate.
There are several others but those are the highlights
So I was sitting at my desk today, out of my mind with exhaustion from staying up most of the night several nights in a row with cat-related crises and otome games (you’d better believe there’ll be more on that later). I decided to have a drink of water, and when I looked up afterwards, I saw what looked at first glance like a woman who had suddenly appeared right in front of me. I actually flinched before I realized that the apparition was, in fact, a curl of my own hair.
postscript: I decided to take a cell phone pic to show you how plausible it is that I should be frightened by my own hair but I couldn’t figure out why pressing the camera button was turning my phone off instead of taking a photo. yep, it was the power button
What’s up, Tumblr. Yeah, you. You look pretty hot today. Are those new pants? Oh yeah. Mama like.